If 911 Worked Like a Medical Office Phone System

Thank you for calling 911 or your local emergency response number.

Please listen carefully as our options have recently changed.

If this is a life threatening medical emergency please press “1”.

For non-life threatening medical emergencies, please press “2”.

For fire, press “3” but for a fire with life threatening burn or smoke inhalation victims, please press “31”.

For fire with non-life threatening injuries, please press “32”.

For Police, press “4” if you wish to reach State Police.

For your local police department, please press “5“.

If you don’t know which police authority to call, please press “6” for traffic related complaints, “7” for domestic assault that has happened in the past, but “71” for ongoing, life threatening assault and “72” for ongoing, non-life threatening assaults.

Press “8” for burglaries that have happened in the past.

For burglaries in progress, please press “9”.

For all other inquiries, please press 0.

To repeat these options, press the “#” key.

1 Response to “If 911 Worked Like a Medical Office Phone System”


  1. 1 meyati October 20, 2016 at 12:20 am

    For adequate 911, your travel must be limited. I lived where the police and fire departtments told us to dial the old number after people were injured, died and no meat wagon was sent out. 911 was routed to the largest city in the state, and they didn’t know the names or numbers of the local first responders.

    Then the largest city-forget it it. This man came to the door and knocked. He politely asked for work.My disabled vet son politely declined. The job seeker began to present his case, and I got a bad feeling, and I went behind the door.

    All of a sudden he exploded, and he grabbed my son’s arm and tried to drag him out. I slammed the door as hard as I could, hoping to break his arm. This went on for a bit, me bouncing the edge of the 2X4 door against his arm. Finally he begged to let go of my son, if I’d ease off the door. That happened. He spent quite some time trying to kick the door in. We threw our weight against the closed door to to keep him out. Did I mention that he was threatening to ambush us later and beat us to death?

    Meanwhile my son dialed 911. We didn’t get those messages. My son gave our address and said that we were under assualt. Her replies were–We’ll send the police out within 3 business days to make a report. Sir, speak up I can’t hear you. Sir, turn the TV off. Sir,put the dogs outside so I can hear you better. Can you repeat your address. Is this in the city or county? What is your zip code? Really, what do you expect when you drink? Do you have any guns? At that point he was screaming, Send the GD police, I don’t think my mother can hold the door shut anymore. She said, Tell your mother to sit down and rest. Sir, does your mother need transport to the ER? He screamed–NO-NO–Police-POLICE

    We didn’t have any axes, baseball bats or guns by the door to break the job hunter’s grip.

    The police showed up over an hour after we dialed 911. They helped me move furniture and bring in a big piece of plywood and 2X4s to brace the door. It splintered greatly around the door knob and dead bolt. I slept on the couch with my 12 gauge shotgun, after I fixed the door. The police helped me do that, and they left out of the back. gate. I re-enforced that 2.

    I will add that the police used our land line to call 911 and they screamed at the supervisor about the 911 dysfunction. This state still doesn’t have 911 figured out.
    Can we say that 911 can be as dysfunctional as calling a medical office?


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